Thursday, January 17, 2008

the Family of Driver

I don't claim to be the best driver (though I am) But these are a few things that cause me to grind my teeth during the daylight hours,while driving, and frankly my dentist would like me to stop.

1. the Non Directional user- you know this person, they can't make that long reach to turn on their directionals.But they can stop suddenly in traffic, and wait and hold up a line of cars behind them, but they can't(can NOT) turn on that directional. How they can ever turn their steering wheel enough, to actually make that turn, is surprising, but they do, albeit slowly.

2.the Tailgater aka the Headlight Blaster- this person is a wimp, most likely makes passive aggressive snarky remarks, but is too weak willed to pass you, or shut off their high beams, or fog lights. The follow behind you closely, like somehow that will help them save gas, or maybe it gives them time to talk on their cell phone,with out having to look at the road. They also feel they are doing a public service, by lighting up the back of your head, and the inside of your car, to enable you to see better.

3.the Wimpy pull out driver- this person has no patience. They are the person, who has either pulled out across your lane of traffic, waiting to get in the other lane going the opposite direction, and they don't care that they are blocking your way.They are sick of waiting, that's it, they've had enough, they're going whether you are coming or not. They have also been know to pull the nose end of their car out in traffic, so you and the other 50 cars behind you, have to deliberately drive around. Evidently they have never been hit, while performing this maneuver, because if they were, they'd find out quickly, that Insurance companies call this "failure to stop", and it'll make them responsible for the damages incurred on their car and yours.

4.the Premature pull out driver- is a close cousin to the wimpy one in #3.They have been known to pull out suddenly in front of you, when your the only car on the road, and then drive extremely slow in front of you. I believe these people can't see, perhaps they are sightless, like underground moles, or maybe it when the invisibility shield on my car decides to work, nonetheless they pull out and you actually have to brake for them to complete this maneuver, that they are so talented at.

5. the Snow driver- this person has many of the above ailments, but they all occur when it snows. The snow can turn the average driver into an impulsive idiot. This person can't drive in the snow, their car isn't prepared for it, and they have no snow driving skills. They either drive too slow, or much too fast. They must pull out in front of you suddenly, because braking in the snow and ice is something they have no concept, and they're a little misinformed about the laws of momentum and inertia. They also usually don't clear of their cars of snow, or their windshields, except on the driver side so they can see, damn it. They are usually heading to a supermarket, or to Dunkin' Donuts, and that's important and worth risking your life for.

6. the Red light yeller- this person, drives too slow in the snow often, or too slow period.They get highly offended, when the street, turns from single lane to double, and you have the nerve to drive in the other lane, no longer following them, or you drive faster then them,when you pull in the other lane. They tend to come out in snowy weather, driving 15 m.p.h.At the stop light they will exert the energy, to open their window, to yell at your closed window, but won't put that energy into pressing on the gas pedal, or using their directionals.

I'm sure there are other species in this family of drivers, but this is the variety, that I curse silently under my breath, and through my gritted teeth.


Mrs. G. said...

I'm going to confess that when someone tailgates me, I tap my break just to scare them.

I'm with you on all of these. But I am guilty of the perpetual blinker syndrome. I'm sorry.

Tracy said...

I've been know to do that too. I'm also not afraid to turn down the next street, to get them off my tail.

perpetual blinker syndrome happens because you've got the music up loud, and your rocking out, better a perpetual one than a non existent one. :))

Marie said...

Oh, yeah. I know all these people! Some of them in my own family, even. I have been known to help #2 "achieve enlightenment" by slowing down a little... I too have been known to pull over to get them off my tail.

Minnesota Matron said...

You must live in Minnesota. Two reasons why I make that guess -- your blog has gorgeous summer and winter pictures and we get the best (worst) of both worlds. And, how else can you so aptly capture such stupidity and smartly sum up that it is all Worse In Snow. Funny! Rolled over here from Derfwad. .. .

Tracy said...

@ minnesota matron I live in massachusetts, your fraternal twin in the winter weather.We get the best of both worlds too.